Creating art for 5 years now has had its struggles and challenges. In many ways I have felt that just when I think I am closer to my goals, I end up farther way from what I set out for. The main things that are a major challenge in creating art have been to maintain the strength and ability to stay true to your voice while the art market tries to dictate your direction. 

There are so many things that I never thought would be part of the process as an artist. I find myself spending many nights researching the topics I would like to discuss, photographing my work properly, engaging in social media, color correcting prints, mailing them, answering calls for interviews, submitting to art shows, public art calls, mixing paint, setting my work space up, sending newsletters out, looking for ads that are looking to hire artists, creating murals, setting up affordable options for buyers, updating my website, updating my collectors on new works, writing and rewriting my statement, framing art, promoting exhibits and the list goes on and on. There is so much that is involved in the art process that is not even the actual act of creating art that once can be left exhausted without resources. 

So how do I balance? Well I don't. I think its a lie to think that any artist has their life under control, you are met with the constant battle of wether or not to continue creating or quit and make real money. The truth of the matter is that the whole art world has created an intense illusion for artists. Its never been easy to compare yourself to those who have had more means, funds and privilege than you to succeed. Talent never mattered in this game, and the more and more you get involved in this world the more and more there will be resounding voices telling you to quit while you are ahead. 

Make some real money. I mean isn't that what everyone really wants in life anyway? The big house, the fancy car, the family and gong out to dinner parties every weekend? How can one maintain such a life when 80% of it is spent on art failures and not generating enough income to make that a reality? Truth is I don't know. And even though my short lived successes may appear to tell a different story, I struggle every day to maintain. 

In the end, I wont ever be sure if the struggle was worth it.  5 years later and I am still trying to figure myself out. All I can do is pour my heart into my work until I have nothing left to give.....